On Episode 596 of Teaching in Higher Ed, I welcome Christy Albright, educator and PhD in Organization, Information, and Learning Sciences, and her sister Clarissa Sorensen Unruh, a chemistry faculty member and previous podcast guest, to discuss teaching, learning, and the lessons of grief. Together, we explore the nuanced, often counterintuitive nature of grief and the ways it intersects with both our personal and professional lives within higher education. Christy Albright shares her research into different facets of grief, including concepts like bereavement, mourning, and anticipatory grief—and how these experiences manifest uniquely for each person. Clarissa Sorensen Unruh adds perspective from her own academic journey and relates anticipatory grief to issues such as faculty precarity and changes in higher education. The also reveals the waves of grief she has experienced since deciding to not continue with her doctoral degree. The conversation explores tools for navigating grief, particularly the HERO framework: Hope, Efficacy, Resiliency, and Optimism, and considers how psychological capital and cultural rituals can both support and sometimes hinder the grief process.

Resources from the episode:

• Bonni fact checks her anecdote about birds
• Fractals: Is Hasan Smarter than a 13-year-old Math Genius
• Peter Felten: Can We Teach Curiosity?
• Resources for Grieving (Christy’s website)
• Capsule
• Ish, by Peter H. Reynolds
• The Dot, by Peter H. Reynolds
• The Let Them Theory, by Mel Robbins
• An Educator's Guide to ADHD, by Karen Costa
• Good Hang with Amy Poehler
• An Educator's Guide to ADHD, by Karen Costa

Episode topics:

• Defining Grief: Bereavement, Mourning, and Gravity
• The Stages of Grief and Anticipatory Grief
• Grief Experiences in Higher Education
• The Nonlinear Nature of Grief
• Cultural and Societal Rituals of Grief
• Psychological Capital: The HERO Framework
• Efficacy and Building Self-Belief Amidst Loss
• Resiliency and the Interplay of HERO Elements
• Rethinking Optimism: Beyond Rose-Colored Glasses
• Practicing Gentleness and Self-Compassion Through Grief

Discussion questions:

1. What does “anticipatory grief” mean, according to Christy Albright, and how might it manifest in the context of higher education?
2. The speakers reject the idea that grief is a linear process. What are some ways grief may be experienced that differ from the classic stages model?
3. How do societal or workplace expectations regarding the “appropriate” duration and expression of grief impact individuals, especially in academia?
4. Christy Albright and Clarissa Sorensen Unruh discuss cultural rituals of grief. What rituals or other practices related to navigating grief have you found personally meaningful, and how could institutions better support the ways in which grief looks different for each person?
5. The HERO framework (Hope, Efficacy, Resiliency, Optimism) is introduced as a tool for navigating grief. Which component resonates most with you, and what might that look like in action during a period of loss?
6. The conversation touches on the concept of viewing grief as a skill. In what ways can we “practice” working through grief, and how might this influence our personal and professional lives?
7. Both Christy Albright and Clarissa Sorensen Unruh share stories of workplaces and support systems that honored their unique grieving processes. What can educational leaders do to cultivate these kinds of supportive environments?
8. Reflecting on the invitation to be gentle with ourselves through grief: What strategies or mindsets have you found helpful in giving yourself permission to show up imperfectly during tough times?

Related Episodes

On Episode 230, I got to have a conversation with Peter Kaufman, co-author of Teaching with Compassion. I had read his piece on Everyday Sociology called On the Sociology of My Death and instantly hoped there might be an opportunity to talk with him before he died. Getting straight to it, Peter wrote of his current (at that time) status:

I’m dying. I don’t mean this figuratively—like I’m dying of thirst or dying to visit Hawaii. I mean it quite literally. I have incurable, stage IV lung cancer.

I was diagnosed in June 2017, a few months after my fiftieth birthday. My only symptom was a nagging, dry cough, but by the time the disease was detected the cancer had metastasized throughout my body. Since then I have had numerous treatments and interventions. Some of these worked quite well, allowing me to resume most of my normal activities; others were not as effective, resulting in adverse side effects, extreme discomfort, and, in one instance, a week-long stay in the hospital. My current treatment plan showed great initial promise but now, after just a few weeks, the tumors started growing again.

He then did what any brilliant sociologist would do. Peter used his disciplinary lens to study his process of dying. When asked if he was ever angry, he said that he understood why some people might become bitter in a similar situation as his. However, his more familiar emotion at that time was of sadness and loss. He closes the piece this way:

The Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön once remarked: “We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder and more open to what scares us. We always have this choice.” I am scared of what the future holds for me, particularly what will happen to my body as the cancer progresses and how my loved ones will bear the pain and suffering of my death. But I’m trusting that love, kindness, gratitude and compassion will be strong enough countervailing forces to help us all weather the storm ahead.

If during Peter’s final weeks of his life, he would trust that love, kindness, gratitude, and compassion had that sort of strength, who are we with our predictably longer lifespans not to fix our eyes on those things, rather than the fear disguised as anger that can so easy show up for many of us. Or maybe it is just me?

Recommended

Read Peter’s post: On the Sociology of My Death and invite someone you know to do the same. Sit and talk awhile together about the ways in which our lives are entangled, the issues in the United States of healthcare being available to the least among us, and how we might use our anger to advocate and work for the changes we most want to see in this world.

Next Week’s Episode

On the upcoming episode of Teaching in Higher Ed, I share about Go Somewhere: A Game of Metaphors, AI, and What Comes Next.

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Affiliate income disclosure: Books that are recommended on the podcast link to the Teaching in Higher Ed bookstore on Bookshop.org. All affiliate income gets donated to the LibroMobile Arts Cooperative (LMAC), established in 2016 by Sara Rafael Garcia.”

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